Chaos ! Exposition . Chaos ! Exposition . Exposition . Exposition . Yeah , it was n’t exactly “ Pandemonium ” last dark , but there was some really fun action .
Look , I know . I know there ’s no way anyone ’s going to be happy watching the telly show remake matter from the movie . But the first 20 minutes of last night , with the vampires and the violent death in the club ? That was just fun . Exuberant , bloody fun . A bozo got his arm rip off , and I have a variety of katharsis that was desperately needed . I cheered .
despoiler from here …
We start pretty much right where we left , with Satanico take the stage for her snake in the grass dancing and the required mind - fucking of Richie , who a ) knows she ’s real and b ) tells Seth that she ’s the one who brought him to the prevention . Freddie shows up and stabs Richie , and Satanico seems less set to vamp up out because of the lineage and more set off by the attack to her mind - buddy .
And cue the fight and the Titty Twister lock everyone down inside . Dismemberment , shooting , dig . Jacob ’s cross fails to slow down the vampires coming at the Fullers , but Scott get off a prissy shotgun blast at them . Fun for the whole family !
Satanico tell Richie she ’s been waiting for him , so Seth shoots her in the chest . She scowls and bunk off to take a healing bathtub in blood , and now it ’s meter to stop the natural action in favor of ALL THIS EXPOSITION WE NEED .
Seth ’s now convince that he did n’t set up this deal , it ’s all Richie and he ’s been played . Richie , meanwhile , is harbor some cattish feeling that about Seth and Vanessa and Seth wanting to lean off with her .
Scott has somehow read a legend and has figured out that the vampires are “ Aztec or Mayan . ”
Jake Busey is n’t Sex Machine , but a Professor Tanner of old - timey vampire here hush-hush . He is so awfully miscast as either a professor OR Sex Machine that I kind of love him .
Professor Busey Machine lets everyone make out that this is Blood Cult territory , where they hero-worship a vision serpent who made a cleaning lady a superman .
Then he unwrap that it ’s SNAKE VAMPIRES we ’re dealing with here , not Dracula 1 . They have venom and fangs that fold up back like a Hydra ’s .
The bar ’s on top of a temple , and it ’s a “ people imbiber ” for reap blood for the Snakepires .
And there ’s a Snakepire power structure , so some get the best of the food harvested , and others do the work .
There ’s a legend about two brothers ( GET IT ? ) killing the vampire Creator .
disregard to the voice ( although not the drawing card ) of the nine Snakepire lords sitting down to dinner , and then we get their side of the exposition :
Carlos and Satanico are on the bottom of Snakepire intellectual nourishment mountain range , just servants .
Satanico ’s just supposed to lure in the intellectual nourishment .
She ’s contribute them all there , let in the Geckos , for a “ large night ” she has planned .
She monologues about slaves and masters , which she also voiced - over about earlier . get together her revolt or die , basically . She and Daenerys Targaryan should get together and have a pow - riot .
Action breach again : Narciso ca n’t vamp out because Carlos has put serpent venom in their glassful that stop that . He and Satanico take knife to the lieutenants . Carlos ends up chain down a not - trounce Narciso . Two more Snakepires appear on a higher floor , one of which is utterly ridiculous looking , and my glee returns one more . A dud that the hombre have made in the legal action lull is detonate , Scott gets thrown down a parachute , Kate chainsaws a lamia and saves her useless father , and Satanico appears to tell Richie that he ca n’t leave . Freddie shoots Richie , and Satanico , pissed , drags Richie from the room .
So , condition report : Scott ’s in the synagogue , possibly dead or soon - to - be . Freddie was sting , so his turning is imminent . Richie is in the “ upkeep ” of Satanico , who likely team up up to bring the Geckos to the barroom so they could belt down the nine Almighty and set the slave Snakepires free .
No one ’s terminate up with their flick fates just yet , but I ’m not yet certain whether that ’s just delayed or honestly changed . I ’m glad we actually got answers , and they actually seem to do work , but I bid we could have arrest them in some way other than Professor Busey Machine and Satanico monologuing them at us . Plus , it was a huge have - down after the sheer joy of the fight in the beginning , which I may re - catch again . More dismemberment , less lecturing is the takeaway message , I approximate .
From Dusk Till DawnTelevision
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