You might think it ’d be difficult to summarise up all the immensity of Timecop 2 : The Berlin Decision in one clause . But we ’re going to try . develop to enter a vortex of clip paradox , kickboxing and shirtless Jason Scott Lee .
Spoilers beforehand …
The original Timecop is one of the most underrated scientific discipline fiction movies of all time . So we had high hopes for Timecop 2 , which came out in 2002 . Sadly , Timecop 2 is nowhere nigh as enceinte as the original , but it ’s still a perfectly solid piece of high mallow . It ’s not exactly insidious , but what it lacks in vastness it makes up for in a nice quantity of warriorlike humanistic discipline ass - whoopin ’ andfuck yeah moments .
https://gizmodo.com/good-character-development-includes-the-all-important-5503945
There ’s no Jean - Claude Van Damme this time around , because he was too busy … doing what , we ’re not sure .
alternatively , Jason Scott Lee is the primary timecop , and his opposition are the Society for Creative Anachronism Society for Historical Accuracy . The SHA was designed to verify the timecops did n’t hole with account instead of safeguarding it — but the SHA has go bad and is pull some nasty clock time crimes . Hence the sequence we excerpt above .
You have to admire a picture show that include a plot to assassinate Hitler in the first 10 minutes . Not to mention the awesome eye - redden demise - taser . secure times all around .
Then there ’s this astonishing bit , where Lee catches up to one of the rogue SCA members , who ’s been meddling in history again . ( Also , there ’s a marvelous scene where some antiblack sometime - timey pig essay to rough in up Lee , and he trounces them . ) In the class 2025 , the court system of rules has changed slightly — judge are bathed in spooky green spark so you ’ll honor their judgments more . The bench is alone made out of CG , for nifty judicial lordliness . And a last sentence is carried out in the courtroom — by two hombre break chain post headpieces and steampunk goggles . The only matter you ’d need to make this scene complete is if the guy being execute keeps screaming “ You ’re just like Hitler ! ” Did n’t he just meet Hitler in the earlier tantrum ? He ought to know well .
I did n’t make a clipping of it , but there ’s an dead splendiferous vista afterward on where Jason Scott Lee is jumping through time , chasing the main SCA guy , Miller . And he arrive in some historic period and he ( and we ) do n’t make out when it is . Luckily , two second after Lee appears out of flimsy melodic line , two guy walk past , and one of them says , “ It ’s 1929 , and I ca n’t believe we still have to deal with this nonsense . ” Which is squeamish and commodious ! I should go around prefacing all my remark with what yr it is , in case a time traveler is give-up the ghost .
Then there ’s the bit where Lee return to the present — but due to the SCA ’s tampering the timeline has altered . The physician who treat the timecops , who was previously a demure professional lady , now wears a shirt with a giant booby window , and has tons of piercings . And she cusses ! Otherwise , we would n’t be intimate the timeline has exchange — her boobs are what ’s know in the job as an Alternate Timeline Indicator . You just gaze at her dummy until you sleep together which timeline this is . by and by , Lee comes back to the present again , and this time his genus Bos has an eyepatch , indicating yet another altered timeline . Because patch are the virile eq of boob windows . Huzzah !
The chief SCA guy is taste to pass over out Lee ’s ancestors , so he ’ll never be born . To this ending , the SCA hombre goes to Texas in 1881 , where Lee ’s root experience . The SCA guy sees some random Taiwanese guy make it in town and wastes him , then congratulates himself on eliminating Jason Scott Lee — not understand that Lee is Hapa , and his Texas grandparents are both Caucasian . It ’s actually kind of a cracking spin .
last , Jason Scott Lee settle thing by getting shirtless and fighting the main SCA hombre . And then the young version of SCA guy cable shows up to watch his onetime self getting thrash by an incredibly hot shirtless guy , and you could see the wheels turning in past!SCA hombre ’s head . particularly when Lee looks up at him and articulate that it does n’t to turn out this way — past SCA cat can avert all of this awesomely homoerotic thrashing if he changes his ways and unconstraint that whole “ Kill Hitler ” idea . Very few the great unwashed can solve their problem with a combination of expose pecs , fierceness and invoke to people ’s better nature , but with this scene , Jason Scott Lee joins William Shatner on that elect list .
And then finally , there ’s the moving-picture show ’s end title subject , whose lyrics are a work of terrible beauty . When we posted our tilt of 10 corking skill fabrication poems earlier today , I do n’t have intercourse how we missed this one . We took the autonomy of transliterate the lyric below , according to the closed captioning :
You ’re lightsome , euphoric
I ’ve waited for so long
I ’m crash
It ’s the sweet froth in those eyes
Like a six - gross ton megabomb
You ’re supersonic
I weather through this metre
The force erratic
Like a deuce from a laser storm
The sound subsonic
Like a machine wreck in the rain
Your karma is solid
You got ta wonder It ’s all your own
Heaven , Heaven knows , Heaven
Still I feel so correct
I ’ve never known before
Never felt so right
Your thigh , your hips ,
Like a nuclear meltdown power zone
Pressed on me
Like the very thought of it all
Like a vox in a hurricane
Your kernel , platonic
The source , excited
Like life on a runaway train
The spike , exotic
spate into my creative thinker
Your own , your soul
You ’re frosting in a desert field
Heaven knows
Heaven knows Heaven
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