If you have ever semi - guiltily learn Laurel Hamilton ’s trashy elf sex novels , or wangle the feat of reading John Norman ’s Gor books while simultaneously roll your eye , then today ’s lunchtime reading , “ Under the Moons of Riadorf , ” will be the perfect diversion for you . write under the playpen name Claire Rasmussen and Belle Heartley , the writer have created a loving takeoff of distance opera romance about a firey princess who is plot to reverse the interstellar government of the ( hot ) man she ’s force to marry ( and have a LOT of sexual urge with ) . And the composition is hilarious — one of the author , under her literal name , just have a giant Holy Writ deal with Little , Brown to write a YA novel . Check out some of the first chapter below .
I love how “ Rasmussen and Heartley ” manage to evoke and satirize the whole pull marriage plot here :
Andrinara have sex that her spousal relationship to Crown Prince Alistair would not forestall the conquest of her beloved planet , Neridan , for long . Emperor Jakrung clear intended to institute Neridan into his empire , and had simply chosen her matrimony to his only surviving son as the most expedient method acting . But Andrinara would not give up her major planet without a fight ! Yes , she would go docilely to the Lord’s table , and yes , she would seem to do her duties as a wife to the Crown Prince , but when the time was right … !
She had more than enough of the oki spite to dispose of two men . And as an Empress , she could protect not only her beloved Neridan , but all of the many other planets that had strike under the autocratic rule of the rapacious and barbarous Jakrung of the House of Dorg . . .
Andrinara , for her part , was calm . She tuned out much of the ceremonial , and used the time to study her shortly - to - be husband , finding little fault with what she saw , though she test . Crown Prince Alistair was tall and well - proportioned , with broad shoulders that tapered to nail down coxa , and the outlines of his lean muscles were seeable even through the heavy cloth of his ceremonial tunic . His oculus were a piercing blue angel , and his aquiline olfactory organ was set above full , sensuous rim . His prosperous hair curled slightly , and brush the collar of his tunic , making a piano contrast to his firm jaw . Andrinara keep that the tawny skin of his hand made a pleasing contrast against her own wan finger , bound to his now by the gilded forget me drug of marriage .
The Crown Prince obviously took after his female parent , a plebeian womanhood who had been the Emperor ’s fourth wife , prized for her beauty even though her lineage was of no account . Jakrung himself , squat and as well - favor as a gargoyle , had trivial in common with his golden boy , Andrinara cerebrate . Despite herself , she felt a stirring of attractor to the bountiful man who would be her husband .
Crown Prince Alistair feel something similar , if the hungry look in his center when Andrinara pushed back her triple veil was any indication . He clasped her hands warmly , and leaned forward to give his Saint Bride the customary kiss with an unexpected heat that made Andrinara blush . Emperor Jakrung chuckled at her discomposure , and she press her lips together in annoyance before remembering the role she must play .
Yes , it just get good from there .
Of course , you could scan the whole narration for free onLiveJournal . Or you’re able to buy it , along with “ other tales of the Dorgian Galaxy”on Lulu.com .
drollery
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